We Were Like Oil and Water

Now, all you readers know the story of my brief stay at Gallaudet.1  Some of you might think that I continue to hold a personal vendetta against Derek.  Well, I’m just presenting my opinion as to why Derek was wrong in letting me go.

It’s been more than 12 years since that fiasco, and the hurt and humiliation I received from Derek are all gone by now.  Often I have had to smile or even laugh at why it happened.  Derek is right in saying I’d laugh now but not in the way he’d expect.  He thought he and I would laugh together about this situation, but upon reading this blog, Derek would realize I’m laughing at him.

Since the laboratory began more than 12 years ago, the research aims Derek set up for the laboratory still have not yielded any papers.  I guess these aims have changed since then.  Moreover, could any of you guess how many publications the laboratory has had since its conception?  One2 or two3 ?  The first paper, as Derek would claim, was published in collaboration with National Cancer Institute in 2016,2 nine years after I zinged him with my article3 on my last day of work there.  Of course, Derek has published several other papers, but those papers deal not with laboratory research but with d/Deaf people attempting to enter Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics and Medicine (STEMM). 

Derek must have been relieved that I had signed all papers that would guarantee my departure from Gallaudet and that I did not publish more than one paper4 out of that laboratory.  Otherwise, his explanations for my resignation would have been greatly weakened.  Maybe he was threatened by my presence because I was more productive and had more connections with scientists across the nation.  By the time I entered the laboratory, I had 24 peer-reviewed publications, while he had only five publications.  Currently, I have at least 31 published articles and Derek has at least 11.  Now that you’ve had the opportunity to read what I wrote about my and Derek’s publication records, do you think he should still deserve the position as the lab director?

However you think whether or not Derek has deserved his current position in the first place, my answer is no.  It all comes to his resignation from the search committee on the laboratory director position and his subsequent (and successful) attempt to obtain that position.  This setup ought to disqualify him from that position because it represented (and still represents) a significant conflict of interest because the search committee was supposed to be independent.  Period.

When I was working at the laboratory, I thought it would need to publish research articles in order to establish and solidify its own reputation.  So far, from 2008 to the present, the number of publications Derek has had at the laboratory is so few, resulting in the laboratory being a teaching one only. 

Unfortunately for me and for future Gallaudet students, every teaching laboratory requires a significant portion of time for research, and that means peer-reviewed publications.  By the time I left Gallaudet after only eight months, I had already published a paper and had made a poster presentation for two meetings.  What had Derek done?  Nothing but writing one or two grant proposals plus begging for more funds?  The laboratory was not fully equipped and not many undergraduates (e.g., potential mentees for me) had visited there.  Without me and my salary, the laboratory might have more funds to buy more equipment and supplies.  Yes, I did some work for the research aims Derek set up for the laboratory, but there was plenty of idle time that I decided to spend at the UMD.  When I left Gallaudet, a potentially promising start had been stiffed.

Maybe Derek was irritated by my insistence that Gallaudet give me a chance to work there after several failed attempts to gain employment there, especially after he and his Gallaudet colleagues thought their consistent lack of encouragement would discourage me from applying further for jobs there.  If that’s one of his reasons, oh hell, Gallaudet had blown any chances of gaining insight from my research experience as well as my experience working with scientists with typical hearing.

Maybe Derek believed that he, not a non-Gallaudet person like I, ought to influence students in scientific thinking, planning, and/or performance.  There was another faculty member who graduated from my alma mater, Harvard University, 10 years after me, but she already had been at Gallaudet for more than five years with a solid record of teaching, publishing and grants by the time I entered there.  Also, her research interests were (and remain) centered towards marine biology, while my and Derek’s interests are centered toward similar areas such as cell biology and molecular biology. These similar interests would have either facilitated a smoother collaboration or spurred competition between Derek and me.  In my opinion, I chose the former, and Derek chose the latter.

Maybe certain people in the Board of Trustees had been pushing Derek hard to get rid of me, not only because of my involvement in Hearing Research but also because they might have felt that I was not Deaf enough.5  Several trustees were members of the Deaf community.  For time immemorial, Deaf members have been wary of studies on hearing loss (including the search for a possible cure for deafness) because the Deaf community have had “negative experiences with biomedical researchers.”6  With that in mind, how do you think the Deaf community would feel toward d/Deaf and hard of hearing scientists in the field of Hearing Research7-9?  I bet they would be doubly insulted because (1) the Deaf community must have been pissed that d/Deaf scientists could be in cahoots with their biomedical peers with typical hearing and (2) they must have been worried that d/Deaf scientists are looking for a cure for their own disability, without which Deaf culture would not survive.  In any event, the Board of Trustees might have given Derek another excuse to get rid of me. 

All I wanted from Gallaudet was a chance to work there and to inspire those to break out of their d/Deaf world. Certainly, Deaf undergraduates want to preserve their cultural ties with their Deaf families, friends, and/or world, but they do not need to hide from the larger, tougher, and more competitive Hearing world.  I believe that they need encouragement to expand their educational and professional lives beyond their home environment.  Several reports indicated less than 3,000 undergraduates with hearing loss at Gallaudet10 and the National Technical Institute for the Deaf (NTID, one of the nine colleges at Rochester Institute of Technology),11 as compared to 300,000 undergraduates with hearing loss who attend academic institutes that are regularly attended by students with typical hearing across the nation.12

Gallaudet just wasn’t meant to be the place for me.

Several years after my departure from Gallaudet, Dan, a Deaf professor of chemistry from Gallaudet, who knew about the laboratory fiasco, communicated in ASL to me, “[Derek and I] were like oil and water.”  This means Derek and I could not blend at all as colleagues.  I opine that Derek didn’t want to communicate as much as he should with me so that we could begin a beautiful collaboration.  He saw me as a competitor and as a threat to his position, because I was more productive, had more research experience, had more connections with scientists with hearing, and could fluently communicate in ASL.  So, he said to me that I didn’t fit into the laboratory, and he had me resign from my position after about eight months.

References

1I Didn’t Get Much of a Chance at Gallaudet – Welcome (the-eagle-ear.com)

2Czikora A, Lundberg DJ, Abramovitz A, Lewin NE, Kedei N, Peach ML, Zhou X, Merritt RC Jr, Craft EA, Braun DC, Blumberg PM.  (2016) Structural Basis for the failure of the C1 domain of Ras guanine nucleotide releasing protein 2 (RasGRP2) to bind phorbol ester with high affinity. Journal of Biological Chemistry 291:11133-47.  https://doi.org/10.1074/jbc.M116.725333.

3Braun DC, Jain S, Epstein E, Greenwald BH, Herold B, Gray M.  (2020)  Deaf intermarriage has limited effect on the prevalence of recessive deafness and no effect on underlying allelic frequency.  PLoS One 15:e0241609. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0241609.

4Noirot IC, Adler HJ, Cornil CA, Harada N, Dooling RJ, Balthazart J, Ball GF.  (2009)  Presence of aromatase and estrogen receptor alpha in the inner ear of zebra finches.  Hearing Research 252: 49-55.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.heares.2009.04.012.

5He is not Deaf – Welcome (the-eagle-ear.com)

6https://www.futurity.org/deaf-community-health-literacy-1827572-2/

7Adler, H.J., Anbuhl, K.L., Atcherson, S.R., Barlow, N., Brennan, M.A., Brigande, J.V., Buran, B.N., Fraenzer, J.-T., Gale, J.E., Gallun, F.J., Gluck, S.D., Goldsworthy, R.L., Heng, J., Hight, A.E., Huyck, J.J., Jacobson, B.D., Karasawa, T., Kovacic, D., Lim, S.R., Malone, A.K., Nolan, L.S., Pisano, D.V., Rao, V.R.M., Raphael, R.M., Ratnanather, J.T., Reiss, L.A.J., Ruffin, C.V., Schwalji, A.T., Sinan, M., Stahn, P., Steyger, P.S., Tang, S.J., Tejani, D.T., Wong, V.  (2017)  Community network for deaf scientists.  Science, 356:386-387.  https://doi.org/10.1126/science.aan2330.

8Adler HJ, Ratnanather JT, Steyger PS, Buran BN.  (2019)  Scientists with Hearing Loss Changing Perspectives in STEMM.  Acoustics Today 15:66-70.

9Huyck JJ, Anbuhl KL, Buran BN, Adler HJ, Atcherson SR, Cakmak O, Dwyer RT, Eddolls M, El May F, Fraenzer JT, Funkhouser R, Gagliardini M, Gallun FJ, Goldsworthy RL, Gouin S, Heng J, Hight AE, Jawadi Z, Kovacic D, Kumar R, Kumar S, Lim SR, Mo C, Nolan LS, Parbery-Clark A, Pisano DV, Rao VR, Raphael RM, Reiss LAJ, Spencer NJ, Tang SJ, Tejani VD, Tran ED, Valli M, Watkins GD, Wayne RV, Wheeler LR, White SL, Wong V, Yuk MC, Ratnanather JT, Steyger PS.  (2021) Supporting Equity and Inclusion of Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing Individuals in Professional Organizations. Frontiers in Education – STEM Education 6:755457. https://doi.org/10.3389/feduc.2021.755457.

10https://www2.ed.gov/about/overview/budget/budget22/justifications/m-gallaudet.pdf

11https://www2.ed.gov/about/overview/budget/budget21/justifications/l-ntid.pdf

12Schroedel, J. (2007). Estimating the number of hard of hearing and late-deafened students: Implications for services delivery and job opportunities. In D. Watson, J. Schroedel, M. Kolvitz, J. DeCaro, & D. Kavin (Eds.), Hard of hearing students in postsecondary settings: A guide for service providers (pp. 28-44). Knoxville, TN: Postsecondary Education Programs Network.